Step 2: Leave your hair down and go on a six mile bike ride that is actually twenty miles because someone apparently can't read a map. Don't wear a helmet because "we'll just be on the beach path the whole time and not in traffic" (also another lie).
Step 3. Beach Waves!
Step 4 (optional): Drink bottomless mimosas and try to forget the whole experience. Also, stuff your face because when you were riding your bike to brunch and accidentally burned a million calories instead of only half a million, you might be hungry.
Step 5: Apologize to your husband for being a hangry bitch because it was actually really pretty and sunny outside and if you had known ahead of time what you were getting yourself into, you might not have complained so much. Or you would have at least worn different pants besides jeans.
*I just realized that since I said Happy Monday people are going to think this happened today. I assumed it would be obvious since I was wearing a green shirt that it happened yesterday, on St. Patrick's Day. But I am obviously very tired and hungover because that assumption makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.